Its nothing....and everything

How We Got Here Post #1



Looking through my old posts and considering how best to approach my catch-up, I fortuitously ran across this draft post from January 2013. I couldn't have planned it better if I tried; this is the perfect post to kick off the wrap-up.

In fact, the theme of the past two years has been THIS. POST. EXACTLY.

It's an eerie [yet satisfying] feeling reading this knowing where we are as a family two years later.

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January 2013

Brace yourself, it's time for a Tessa stream of consciousness post...

I feel I have spared you for sometime now, not because the material isn't there...just not the time. But, alas, I am in need of some good old blogging therapy.

I have to admit, though I know what I write gets read by others, I genuinely find comfort and clarity in writing and tend to think of my blogging efforts as self administered therapy. Blogging is an outlet; an outlet for positive emotions as well as negative; a forum where I can work through my feelings and thoughts; a place where I can memorialize a moment or a feeling in a way that allows me to experience the emotion and moment again and affords me the ability to look back, reflect and learn from my choices and experiences.

Lately, I am fixated on a notion. A notion that has different meaning to different people. A notion that while perhaps a bit cliche, should not be discredited as to its meaning. Before telling you the notion I want to try and describe what is going on inside. [Well, beside the constant kicking of one particular little girl that is!!!] It is the inability to accurately describe what I feel that leads to my post title. Those who know me well or are around me often can tell that, as of late, I find myself rather distracted or perhaps simply depressed. Sometimes I call it a funk. When asked what is wrong, my response is generally "nothing". And while I believe it is nothing big, it is everything to me right now. It is my fixation; it is my obsession.

So what is this notion? It is the notion of a "simpler life". As with anything, everyone has their own idea and perception of what this might mean or look like. To me, it is a life where priorities are known, respected and understood. A life where internal and external demands and expectations are put into perspective. A life that affords more family and friend time with less strain to literally afford it. A life where the important question is not where have you been the past year but who have you been, and who have you been it to?

I am not naive enough to think that a "simpler life" means an easier life, but I do believe it can mean a happier more content and fulfilled life. 

When discussing our goals for the year and establishing our monthly budgets, as J and I do every January, the undeniable theme was 'Keep it Simple'. This 2013 family goal requires some changes to our tendencies as well as some creativity. If our kids have taught us anything, it is the value of time at home and time together. The excitement and joy we have from a picnic at the park, to drawing/coloring marathons, to a trip to the desert museum, no matter how many times we have been, is worth more than anything money can buy.

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The post was left unfinished, but the seed of what was to come was firmly planted.