April has been quite the busy month, not the least of which was the anticipation and celebration of my Thirtieth birthday. Just saying that out load is weird. I'm the baby of the family....when and how did I get to be 30?!??!
But, let me tell you. I'm not feeling blue or anxious about reaching thirty. Perhaps a little shocked at times, but certainly not down, because I am SO ready to be done with the 20s. Don't get me wrong, the 20s had some great times and certainly some momentous life changing events.....college graduation, marriage, law school graduation, birth of Ayden, birth of Gavin.....these are huge important life changing events. But with the good sometimes comes the bad. Now, I debated actually fleshing out for my blogging followers those things that make my eyes tear up and lodges my heart in my throat every time I think about them, but I have decided I will simply say, there are things about my 20s that I am glad to be moving further away from. Things that bring tears to my eyes; things I wish I understood more, that I had done differently, that others had done differently, things that impact me so deep they effect who I am, my view of the world, and altered my path in life.
Does being 30 actually change how I feel about any of this.....no, not really. But to me, I feel 30 marks a new chapter in my life. Over the last year I have settled into what is now my life and I find it quite an awesome and pleasant experience. Much of this, as I have explained in other posts, I attribute to Gavin's birth and some switch that flipped in me, but much of it is of course due to maturing and learning who I am as an individual and what strengths and challenges I have emotionally, physically, mentally, professionally, etc... And with this knowledge has come the desire & passion to improve. To continue to challenge myself, to continue to question my motives and values, to continue to strive to be a better version of myself today that I was yesterday.
This philosophy (if you want to call it that), is something that has grown and blossomed from a tiny little seed planted in me around the age of 20 or 21. I say that it was planted, but it is not as though someone else planted it; it was me. I hit a fork in the road where I could either let others and their choices control my life, my choices, and ultimately my happiness, or I could learn and teach myself to be in control of my own. I consider my 20s my learning curve. There were ups and there were downs. All the while I continued along my path of self discovery, self awareness and accountability.
Whether simply by coincidence, this momentous birthday falls inline with what I feel is the next phase of my learning. I have graduated beyond the steep learning curve; I have established a solid foundation; I have developed healthy habits and routines that further my daily self-learning and reflection; and I have goals.
This is not to say I don't falter (on a daily basis!) and won't continue to do so throughout my life. If I didn't, then where would the learning come from? I am not perfect, merely human. But I can say with confidence that I actively participate in improving myself....and this alone, makes me an overall content and happy person.
With the tumultuous learning curve behind me, I've settled in and am tickled with anticipation of the possibility and opportunity the next decade will bring.
I have no doubt the 30s will ROCK!
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