Birthday cake day 2

1 yr old = monkey

Apparently the minute a little boy turns one, they also transform into a monkey....

How Gavin got himself on top of the train table is beside me!

And then proceeded to climb into the box head first and feet flailing....



To think we are days away from two boys that are fully mobile....oh boy!

Mischief...

I left the boys to their own devices for about 3 minutes while I brushed my teeth and here is what I came back to.....

One just a guilty as the other and just as excited to be throwing tampons all over the bathroom floor. 

Who knew tampons could be so fun :)

[Would you take a look at Gavin's hair-do!!]

I have a feeling this just the tip of the iceburg. The nice part was that Ayden actually cleaned up!!

Old man...

I know he is about to turn one.....but when did he become this wise old man???

Swings, Planes and Clouds

Today, after some incessant begging from Ayden, we finally put his swing up at the new house. When Ayden saw it the first thing he said was, "put Gavin in my swing and he will have a turn, and then I will have a turn, alright mommy?"  And so we did....and Gavin loved it!! 

While one boy swung, the other sat on the wall looking for airplanes. Eventually, all my boys found a spot on the wall searching the skies for airplanes....especially the 'blue' one (aka southwest and Ayden's absolute favorite).

My handsome boys!

It is moments like these I must record for the days when they are pulled each others' hair out (and I mine).

I could live in afternoons like these forever.

You Get What You Expect

This morning I woke to one of my monthly news letters about childrearing in my inbox.  It was interestingly very apropos for my post last night, so I thought I would take the time to share it.  Also, I will  throw in a plug for any new parents out there. I highly highly recommend this series and I believe it takes you through age 5. I have tried many things - but this is by far the best.  Check it out at www.growingchild.com. (It also makes a great gift for an expecting friend!)

YOU GET WHAT YOU EXPECT

I spent another morning in a preschool classroom last week. I arrived in time to hear the teacher telling Sean that he'd better quit that right now; he'd had a bad day yesterday and he was already heading for another.

But within the next ten minutes he had been reprimanded for not standing appropriately for the Pledge, for poking his neighbor at group time, and for suggesting a typically off-color four-year-old name for the elf on the shelf.

The teacher looked unhappier by the minute, and Sean looked--well, a combination of nervous and defiant, sure that the axe would soon fall, and darned if he would worry about it.

I spent a few minutes thinking about the power of expectations, both negative and positive.

Remember that, to a large extent, children see themselves through our adult eyes. If adults give them feedback that suggests that the child is not capable of doing good things, children quickly adopt this negative view into their self-concept.

Our images of ourselves tend to control and limit the persons we become; children who believe themselves to be naughty will behave more and more in accordance with this picture.

And vice versa--kids who get a good deal of positive reflection from approving adults tend to think well of themselves. There is a lot of power in adult expectations.

The harried teacher--definitely not to be blamed, because the day-to-day good will of even the most loving adult can be worn thin by constant negative interaction˜-asked if I could spend some time with Sean that morning.

So I sat with him, commenting and encouraging as he worked. And the child who, the teacher stated, never finished an assigned task, did so that morning.

This has nothing to do with a contrast of adult teaching styles, but rather a change of focus. I, as a newcomer, had no history of negative expectations to convey to Sean, so I could approach him without mental baggage and with an open mind.

I found a youngster who had a quick mind, darting from one thing to another, making some creative connections. I discovered a child who wanted to do well, and who responded to my positive expectations.

I saw his teacher relax, as she was able to focus on the big picture about Sean, seeing these strengths when she wasn't having to deal with his negative behaviors.

Reflecting on this experience later, several thoughts occurred to me. One is that adults need others to give them a time-out, when faced with constant challenges. That's why it is fortunate when there are two parents in a home, or two teachers in a classroom; single parents have to find someone to give them respite.

Getting a break gives new perspective and energy to return to the difficult task of child rearing.

Another thought is that no child is 100 percent naughty all of the time. Sometimes we narrow our vision, focusing only on the current problems, and it is important to widen it out, to notice children's strengths and abilities, indeed, their likable parts.

The more we catch them being good, the more they respond to our positive expectations. You get what you expect.

---

© Growing Child 2012 Please feel free to forward this article to a friend.

A day in the life...

This is a therapeutic post.  We have all had these days/weeks/months....maybe even years.

I am feeling overcommitted.

However, perhaps unlike many with this feeling, I am also loving life (except  the periodic breakdown days).

My days generally go like this:

4:30am wake-up and go for a run (starring next week this will also include swim and/or bike)

6:45/7:00am - Arrive at work [if I am lucky, I may see Ayden for a few minutes before I leave]

7:00-5:00/5:30pm - work (billing 8-9 or more hours) [Most days I rush home for lunch and try to catch 20-30min with the boys]

5:30-7pm - Dinner [often not able to eat my own until it is cold, or eating while one or more child crawl around my lap]

7-7:30pm - Gavin bedtime routine

7:30-8:30 - clean kitchen/ clean playroom/ spend time with Ayden 

8:30-9pm remaining house cleaning/laundry folding/Ayden bedtime 'routine'

9-930pm - Get ready for and go to bed.

10pm - hopefully sound asleep :)

I find that when I start to feel overwhelmed or unbalanced it always help to verbalize how I feel and what my day consists of....to find some perspective.

Yesterday was a 'breakdown' day for me.  The stress at work had reached a tipping point. Despite that, I held strong to my commitment to pick up Ayden from school. So, I rushed out the door to get him. Once there Ayden decided to throw a fit about having to take off the jacket he was wearing (bc it wasn't his) and leave it there.  So....after that negotiation and whining, we made it to the doors of the school, only to find there was a small bus sitting outside. Ayden of course wanted to go on the bus....this was not an option.  But, as Ayden so nicely puts it these days "BUT, I WAAAAANT TOOO!!!"....so, that quickly turned to tears (again) and simply very loud whining just about all of the way home.  Then, once home he didn't want me to put him down so that I could use the restroom (that too turned to tears).  My frustration was at its max.  And before you know it....I had to head back to work with a bag of veggie fries to call lunch. As I am leaving, Gavin begins to wail bc I essentially flew in and flew out without so much as a few kisses for him.....let me tell you......I felt just awesome as I got into the car.....

It occurred to me last night as I was rocking Gavin, that most days I only have about 2 to 2 1/2 hours with him since I have been leaving for work before he is getting up.  That instantly made me sad. Then I thought about it some more....first, this is not the typical, things at work are nuts and on top of that my training is demanding (and about to get much worse) - this is a temporary situation....secondly, I LOVE what I am doing when I am not able to be with the kids - work is challenging and fun, and training is mentally and physically challenging not to mention good for me - so I am grateful that I am not like many who must leave their children to be miserable all day.

And as quick as that, I had gained back my perspective.  Life is good.  Life is busy and sometimes overwhelming, but undoubtedly good.

What does suffer the most when my life is in a busy phase are my relationships with friends and family (not living under the same roof), and for this I feel most sad and frustrated.  But again there is perspective to be gained. No one can be everything for everyone and no one can please everyone all the time. And so, I can worry about everything I am unable to do or be, OR, I can take it day by day and just do my very best.

Though it takes frequent reminding, I choose option 2.

So, if you are ever feeling overwhelmed, or inadequate or guilty about not having enough time for everything and everyone. Take a moment for perspective. Be positive. And then stop being so darn hard on yourself.  We only get today once; and tomorrow it is gone.

The Master

no, no, no, no......not the master of the house.....we all know who that is........ =)

Almost two years ago Jeremy decided to go back to school and get his MBA. This was a big family decision. I was pregnant with our second and we were in the thick of life.  Little did we know, I would also be leaving Raytheon, starting a new career path at a private firm, Jeremy would be working a large strategic proposal, and we would buy a new house and rent our previous.  All the while Jeremy was  traveling every other weekend to Phoenix for class and doing school work every night during the week.  I am sure when J reads this he will think of a gazillion other things that were unexpected (not to mention the expected birth of Gavin!), but I think for survival my brain has already blocked out some of the utter chaos.

But, despite it being a very very......very long 14mos, with a lot of sacrifice by all, here we are....getting stronger by the day and loving our crazy crazy life.

Jeremy did more than simply survive the time though, he managed to finish his executive MBA program with Sraight A's. 

Watching him walk that stage and become a Master was fantastic. We are so proud of him. He set his mind to it and he did it....with a 4.0 no less.

I know the boys are not old enough to truly understand what they were watching, but I could tell that Ayden sensed the importance and the pride in the room.  And proud we are.  Way to go babe!!!!!!!!

[now go make us millions ;)]